we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
