Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
