Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
