community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize