More tranny stories later!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
