I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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