"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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