her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
