I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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