May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
