I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
