Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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