I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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