I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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