Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so let's talk penis.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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