yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do vagina's smell?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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