I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
