sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
