If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
