im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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