Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
