Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The beer is more important than you right now.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
