Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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