i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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