shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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