Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
