You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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