They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
