i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
