Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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