so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
