i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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