i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
