I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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