i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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