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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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