so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I FOUND THE LEGS
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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