Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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