it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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