I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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