He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
