Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
