wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he shaved USA in his pubs
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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