Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize