I wanna bring you to show and tell
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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