who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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