new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am midnight drunk by noon
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
