just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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