You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
