This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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