Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
