What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
